How To Get Older And More Comfortable With The Changes

A little guide to making peace with the person you are becoming.

Ageing is the one journey we all hope to take — yet somehow we spend years trying to avoid looking like we are on it. We celebrate birthdays, but we panic about the evidence. We talk about longevity, but often forget that the goal is not simply to live longer; it is to live fully while we do.

So, if getting older isn’t a problem to solve, how can we embrace this new phase of life with curiosity, confidence and a positive outlook?

At CrunchyTales, we believe ageing is not something to fix: it’s a new chapter to explore, with plenty still to discover, experience and enjoy.

How to get more comfortable with the changes as you get older

Your body changes, your priorities shift, your reflection becomes a little less familiar. But beneath the wrinkles, grey hair, slower mornings and unexpected aches is still the same curious person — with more stories, more wisdom and self compassion and (hopefully) less patience for things that no longer matter. Body changes

As Sara Margolin, CrunchyTales expert on ageing and PhD Associate Professor at Brockport University in New York, explains, “change is never easy” — whether it’s “a move, a new relationship, a new pants size”. And when the change we see in the mirror comes from getting older, it can be particularly difficult because “what we see doesn’t match the mental image we have of ourselves — our self-concept.”

As Margolin points out, “What we look like in our head is built over time,” and while that image “can be updated”, it is often slower to catch up with the changes happening in our lives. It doesn’t help that we live in a culture where “social media, magazines, and western society’s emphasis on youth” constantly reinforce the idea that getting older is something to resist.

Yet there is another way to look at it. “We do have agency and power in shifting our perspective,” Margolin says — and perhaps that is where embracing this new phase of life begins.

Here are 7 steps to help you get happily older and embrace the changes that come with it.

1. Stop treating ageing like an unwanted guest

Many of us have been taught to see ageing as a loss: less beauty, less relevance, fewer opportunities. But ageing is not the enemy; the fear and stereotypes attached to ageing are.

You can care about your appearance without believing your value lives in your reflection. You can enjoy skincare, fashion, fitness or a new haircut while accepting that your face is telling the story of your life. The goal is not to look 30 again. The goal is to recognise yourself at every age.

2. Expect a period of adjustment

Nobody wakes up one morning and thinks: “Wonderful, I have completely embraced my changing body.”

There are moments when you might look in the mirror and think: “Who is that person?”. Yes, even supermodel Paulina Porizkova has admitted to feeling that way. There may be sadness for the younger version of yourself, frustration with your changing energy levels, or confusion about where you fit in a culture obsessed with youth. This is normal.

Ageing is not just physical; it’s also psychological. You are updating your identity, so give yourself time to meet the new you.

3. Make friends with your body

Your body is not betraying you. It has carried you through decades of experiences: adventures, heartbreaks, pregnancies, illnesses, celebrations, late nights, hard work, ordinary Tuesdays and yes, menopause!

Instead of asking, “Why doesn’t my body look like it used to?” try asking, “What does my body need from me now?” Maybe it needs more strength training (why not getting inspiration from midlife bodybuilding female athletes?), better sleep, more protein, more kindness, more rest or simply less criticism.

Your body is not a before-and-after project. It is your lifelong home.

4. Replace youth with curiosity

One of the biggest secrets to ageing well is staying interested. Curiosity keeps us alive in ways no beauty treatment can: learn something new, read books that challenge you, travel somewhere unfamiliar. Take up a hobby you are terrible at.

The opposite of ageing is not youth, we believe it’s stagnation. A curious mind can make a person in their 70s feel more alive than someone half their age who has stopped exploring.

5. Allow yourself to reinvent

Many women reach midlife and realise they have spent years being everything to everyone else — partner, mother, daughter, employee, caregiver. Then suddenly there is a quieter question: “Who am I now?“

Ageing gives you permission to rewrite the script. You can change careers, start a business, fall in love again, move somewhere new, learn a language, wear different clothes, create something just because you enjoy it.

Your next chapter does not need to look like your previous ones.

6. Choose your influences carefully

Ageing becomes harder when you surround yourself with messages telling you that you are disappearing. Follow people who celebrate growing older. Read stories of women creating, exploring and achieving things after 50, 60 and beyond.

The world needs more examples of women who are not trying to stay young — but are showing how powerful it is to grow fully into yourself.

7. Accept that change is the deal

Nobody gets to keep everything forever. That is the beautiful and frustrating bargain of being alive. The face changes, the body changes, relationships change. Our ideas about ourselves change.

But change also brings freedom: the freedom to care less about approval, to know yourself better, and to stop wasting energy trying to be someone you have already outgrown.

“Embrace change – continues Sara Margolin-. This is obviously easier said than done, but it is the opposite of avoiding. When we value something or want something to happen, we notice it more often (ever play “punch buggy” on car rides as a kid?). In this way, the value we place in aging will allow us to notice the age-related changes we see in ourselves. The attention we pay to them stimulates our memory systems and these memories will incorporate into our mental representation of ourselves, allowing us to update our self-concept appropriately. Then, over time, our inside will match our outside and we will feel better about the changes we see in the mirror”.

A final thought on ageing happily

You do not have to love every part of getting older. Some days you will celebrate it; other days you might complain about your knees, your wrinkles or your disappearing eyesight. Both can be true.

The art is not pretending ageing is easy. It is learning to walk alongside it — with humour, curiosity and a little bit of rebellion.

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