Grumpy Old Woman? No Way! Let’s Stop Complaining

3 min read

It was a particularly dreary Wednesday afternoon when I found myself in line at the local bakery, waiting for my turn to order. The air was thick with the smell of fresh bread and pastries, a comforting scent that always brought a smile to my face. Yet, as I stood there, I couldn’t help but notice the wary glances directed at the elderly woman ahead of me.

Her face, etched with years of life’s experiences, was set in a stern expression. The whispers began – “She’s always so grumpy,” one person muttered. “Typical old lady,” another snickered.

It hit me like a punch to the gut. I had seen this scene play out too many times, and I knew the stereotype all too well: the “Grumpy Old Woman.” It’s a label slapped on elderly women who dare to show anything but a sweet, docile demeanour. It’s a convenient narrative that dismisses their complexities, reducing them to caricatures of bitterness and discontent.

This episode, however, made me think of one bad habit that both men and women sometimes tend to develop as they age: complaining. Often, and about anything and everything. A creaky knee here, a slower metabolism there, an occupied parking space, a delayed train, a missed appointment. The list is endless.

But why do we feel the urge to grumble?

There can be legitimate reasons – chronic pain, stress, the feeling of becoming invisible and then irrelevant, or even menopause symptoms that affect our mood. However, more often, it’s simply a habit: when faced with a situation or a day that doesn’t meet our expectations, some of us struggle to handle it and react by complaining.

Basically, it’s a way to express frustration when things seem beyond our control. But complaining can also be a reaction to internal discomfort and tension that makes us feel on edge. Or it might just be a personality trait, reflecting a more emotionally sensitive nature.

One of my colleagues is a champion complainer. Traffic? A nightmare. Weather? Never perfect. Her job? Don’t even get her started. Her negativity wasn’t just a downer for those around her, it was a dark cloud hanging over her own head.

What she didn’t realise is that often we become so accustomed to focusing on our problems and pains, or the things we haven’t achieved (yet), that we forget the amazing things our bodies have done and continue to do for us or how much we’ve grown as a human being.

I think we all have those moments but recognizing that complaining creates a negative image of oneself is crucial. While occasional complaining is almost normal, constant grumbling communicates stress to those around us. This can lead to avoidance by others, resulting in social isolation (no one wants to be around a negative person).

According to experts, constant complaining can also lead to chronic stress and erode self-confidence. This perceived inability to cope with minor daily challenges can be detrimental.

If we realize we can’t manage this behaviour alone, seeking help from a loved one or a therapist is essential to avoid being filed under the voice “grumpy old woman” and then giving ageist people more reasons to keep on believing in those clichés.

Like many other bad habits, quitting complaining requires gradual effort (of course, always looking for something positive in life, it’s not easy).

What worked for me was adopting a more serene attitude towards everyday obstacles and re-evaluating the causes of my complaints. Does this problem really deserve so much attention? With some reflection and self-criticism, the answer is often NO.

Can you relate to the above? Let us know in the comments below.

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