Finding Your Purpose: The Key to A Life Well Lived
Midlife often arrives with a mix of reflection, restlessness, and the question: What now? As the roles and responsibilities that once defined us shift, it’s natural to seek a deeper sense of purpose.
This excerpt from Lives Well Lived by Sky Bergman invites readers on a journey to uncover the true essence of a meaningful life. Through the voices of extraordinary individuals, the book reveals how purpose, passion, and connection shape a fulfilling existence. With wisdom drawn from lived experiences, Lives Well Lived offers an inspiring guide to embracing each day with intention, leaving a lasting impact, and finding joy in the moments that matter most.
Looking forward to the future is, of course, a purpose in and of itself. If we have no purpose, we cannot conceive of, let alone, begin to create a future since there is no reason for us to do so. Therefore, purpose, in my mind, is both a precursor to and creator of the future.
I’d like you to imagine this scene. One bright, warm and sunny morning, you look out of your window and gaze up at a mountaintop in the distance. You decide to take a walk to the top of that mountain and begin to prepare what you will need.
Life is very much like walking a path to the top of a mountain. All of us find something we love doing, and we set our goals, and work toward them. At times, we run into challenges and barriers that we have to overcome. Sometimes, we take stock of what we have achieved.
There might be moments when we stop to take a breath and admire the view. Sometimes the trail is flat and easy; at other times, it is rocky and hilly. Overcoming a challenge can bring great joy. I feel the best way to describe a purpose or goal is the mountaintop itself.
Finding a a renewed sense of purpose
The mountain peak is what we are trying to achieve in our life—either short or long term. This goal might be to complete our schooling, find a life partner, or gradually gain experience and wisdom, advancing in our careers.
However, retirement often marks a significant transition, where many individuals face the challenge of redefining their sense of purpose. In social settings, our professions often define us. This deep association can lead to a sense of loss or emptiness when we step away from our careers.
Retirement can be seen as a new chapter full of possibilities. It’s an opportunity to explore interests that were sidelined or to discover new passions. Engaging in volunteer work, pursuing hobbies, or even learning new skills can instill a renewed sense of purpose.
Lucky Louie Tedone continued making mozzarella for his daughter’s delicatessen when he was 96, as he had done for many years. This was despite him having a busy and successful working life as a pediatrician for over fifty years.
Lou said during our interview that he felt he got his purpose and philosophy from his parents. “My parents worked very hard in the store since there were no other employees, never had a day off and never complained about it. They were so proud that they were able to provide a decent living, that there was food on the table.”
For Marion and Paul Wolff, talking about their experiences in the Holocaust fueled their desire to ensure future generations would not repeat the mistakes of those terrible times. “We consciously make an effort to speak at local schools because we feel an obligation to tell our story. We are not going to be here forever, and then, how truthfully will our story be told?”
Rose expressed her purpose in teaching English as a second language to students. Learning English had been an important steppingstone in her life, so she wanted to give something back. “I have compassion for the students that I work with because I know firsthand how difficult it is for them to learn a second language. So, I volunteer at the high school every morning.”
Creating the Future: A Purpose-Driven Path Forward
Time and again, interview after inspiring interview, I saw this theme of giving back, passing on, returning the favor, or sharing experience as fuel for the fire of purpose.
Purpose was there to drive them on, through thick and thin.
This sentiment was shared when I spoke to those influenced by these purposeful individuals. When children, friends or colleagues observed that a person was fueled by a broader purpose, it was appreciated without exception. Humans seem to notice when another person is driven by purpose. We respond with warmth, joy, and thankfulness.
One of the interesting things I’ve noticed in the individuals I spoke with is that having a purpose served to help them create a future. This future may have only existed in the mind of the individual. Nevertheless, it was real to them, and as the majority I spoke with were in their seventies, eighties, and nineties, it contributed anecdotally to a long life for them.
This anecdotal evidence has been backed by significant scientific research. Studies have proven that people with a purpose tend to live longer and healthier lives. Purpose provides an outward focus and takes the attention of the individual off themselves and onto the task where they have chosen to direct their efforts.
I have no doubt in my mind that Lou lived longer because he made mozzarella. I have no doubt that Paul—in his nineties and currently working on a presentation for an upcoming event—is contributing to this day because of his deep desire to share his Holocaust experiences.
Specific research into retirement has suggested that those who leave work and don’t replace that purpose with something else—a sport, volunteering, gardening, or some other activity—tend to die earlier than those who continue to lead purposeful lives.
Finding Purpose Through Reinvention
For me, personally, after a thirty-year university career teaching photography, I decided to retire from teaching. My colleagues asked me, “Why are you retiring so young when you are at the top of your game?” I realized that I had fulfilled my teaching career and decided to look through a different creative lens: filmmaking.
I was lucky enough to be able to walk away and re-invent myself at 56 years old. I believe that no matter which decade of age, we all need to find our sense of purpose, the drive that keeps us going, that feeds our curiosity.
I also believe that our sense of purpose can change over time depending on our life circumstances.
For my dad, a practicing geriatric physician, having and surviving two strokes reinvigorated his sense of purpose. The first stroke, when he was in his forties, required a very experimental brain surgery. It took him a year to recuperate, but he resumed working as soon as he could. His second stroke, at 69, left him with one side of his body weakened enough to require being mostly in a wheelchair, but able to walk short distances with a walker. He lost the ability to do many of the things he loved, such as playing the guitar and practicing archery.
The one thing he could still do well, however, was practice medicine. His perseverance has made him a role model for his patients. Despite even greater challenges, my dad continued his medical practice until his passing, just shy of 80 years old.
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
That quote underscores the significant impact that a strong sense of purpose, or a ‘why,’ has on an individual’s life. Understanding one’s purpose equips a person with the strength to withstand numerous challenges. Many times in life, we go on day to day, so busy that we don’t have a moment to pause and think about what we are doing, what we are grateful for, and what feeds our soul.
Are you able to really look at your life and find your true sense of purpose and happiness? If and when you do, you may find that committing to that purpose is a vital ingredient of a life well lived.
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