Finding a Roommate After 50: The art Of Sharing Space (And Bills) As A Grown Up Woman

4 min read

One early morning I found myself wide awake, scrolling through endless property listings, wondering how I had reached this stage of life where finding a flatmate at 50+ seemed like a logical next step.

Between managing my ageing parents—who have now fully embraced their roles as stubborn toddlers—and dealing with my impending relocation to London, I was also facing an even bigger challenge: finding a pet-friendly flat for me and my beloved therapy dog, Sancho Pamelo.

Now, London loves dogs. There are dog-friendly pubs, dog spas, and even gelato parlours for dogs. But when it comes to renting with a pet, suddenly, no landlord wants to know.

After weeks of frustration, I did what any desperate social networker would do: I blasted my search across Instagram. And then, the universe delivered. A message popped up from an old acquaintance, a psychologist I had met years ago in Fiumicino airport while waiting for one of those awful, anxiety-inducing 5 am flights.

“Silvia, you won’t believe this,” she wrote. “Just a few days ago, my friend posted the exact same thing: ‘Looking for a pet-friendly flat in East London, budget £1,000’.”

And her name? Silvia—just like mine. Curly-haired, just like me. A devoted dog mom to a 14-year-old senior pup. If divine intervention exists, it’s definitely a woman—and she has a wicked sense of humour. Who knows? I may have just found my perfect flatmate.

Then it hit me—it’s not just me struggling to find a roommate as I get older. Beyond my own experience, there’s a growing trend: more and more people over 50 are seeking flatmates.

Why are more women over 50 looking for roommates?

For years, the idea of sharing a home in midlife was mostly associated with 1980s sitcoms (remember “The Golden Girls”?). But times have changed. More and more women—single, divorced, widowed, or simply looking for a fresh start—are turning to co-living after 50.

According to SpareRoom, the number of flatmates aged 45-54 in the UK has increased by 76% in the past decade, while those aged 65+ have skyrocketed. Meanwhile, in the US, co-living arrangements among older adults have nearly doubled in the past 18 years. The reasons? Housing costs are out of control.

In the UK, average rents have hit record highs, with Londoners now paying an average of £2,500 per month for a one-bedroom flat. Sharing is simply more affordable.

But it’s not only a matter of saving costs. Social connection matters, too! Living alone is overrated. Studies show that isolation impacts both mental and physical health, and that having a supportive home environment can make all the difference, especially after a certain age. Also, with lifespans increasing, many women are realising they don’t want to age alone. Flatmate or roommate living offers a built-in support network.

How to find the right roommate after 50

So, how do you find a flatmate or roommate in midlife without ending up in a real-life horror story? Here are a few golden rules:

• Use dedicated platforms

Forget dodgy Facebook groups. Websites like Cohabitas or SpareRoom are great places to start. Of course, you can always use the old-fashioned (and sometimes more effective) word-of-mouth method. But before saying yes, take a quick look at their online presence.

• Be clear on your non-negotiables

Before you start your search, take the time to define what truly matters to you in a living situation. Are you comfortable with pets, or do you have allergies that make a pet-free home essential? How do you feel about smoking—whether indoors or even on the balcony?

Consider lifestyle differences like noise levels, daily schedules, and tidiness. Are you a neat freak who needs things in their place, or are you okay with a more relaxed approach to housekeeping?

The more specific and upfront you are about your must-haves, the better your chances of finding a roommate whose lifestyle aligns with yours. Clear expectations from the start help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts down the line.

• Think beyond just splitting rent

Finding a roommate isn’t just about financial convenience—it’s about compatibility. Ideally, your roommate should add something positive to your life, whether it’s companionship, shared interests, or even skills that complement yours. Maybe they’re a great cook and enjoy preparing shared meals, or they love to travel and would be a perfect weekend getaway companion.

Consider what kind of dynamic you’d like at home. Do you want someone who’s more of a quiet cohabitant, or would you enjoy a social connection where you watch movies together or share a morning coffee? Looking for these deeper connections can turn your roommate arrangement into a fulfilling experience rather than just a practical one.

Once you’ve found the right roommate

Setting clear ground rules from the start can make all the difference—especially since, by this stage in life, we all have well-established preferences that aren’t always easy to compromise on. It’s essential to have an open conversation about daily routines, meal habits, cleaning responsibilities, and guest policies to prevent any awkward misunderstandings down the line. Transparency upfront leads to a smoother, more comfortable living arrangement.

At the same time, be mindful of shared spaces like the kitchen and bathroom—respect for privacy is key—but also stay open to the unexpected. Some of the best experiences and connections happen when you least expect them. A great roommate dynamic isn’t just about coexisting; it’s about finding little moments of camaraderie that make shared living enjoyable.

Shared living: a new beginning

Finding a flatmate at 40/50+ might not have been part of your original life plan. But, honestly? It’s shaping up to be one of the best decisions I’ve made.

There’s something empowering about creating a home that works for you, rather than following outdated ideas of how life should look. Who knows—maybe your future best friend is out there, scrolling through listings, just like you. And if not? Well, at least you’ll have some hilarious stories to tell over a glass of wine.

Would you consider getting a flatmate after 50? Let me know in the comments!