Film Maker Melissa Davey: “A Woman’s Age Is Not Her Story”

7 min read

Melissa Davey‘s remarkable journey took a transformative turn in 2015 when a chance encounter with a renowned film director ignited her long-held dream of filmmaking. At 65, she boldly left behind a successful 24-year corporate career to venture into cinema.

In April 2021, Melissa released her first documentary, Beyond Sixty, celebrating the resilience and relevance of women over 60. Her latest documentary, Climbing into Life, showcases 73-year-old Dierdre Wolownick’s journey to becoming the oldest woman to scale El Capitan in Yosemite.

Now at 74, Melissa is determined to inspire women to dream big, overcome fears, and pursue their passions, proving that reinvention and limitless possibilities await at any age.

Melissa, your transition from a corporate career to filmmaking is inspiring. What were the biggest fears or doubts you faced?

I guess the biggest fear I faced when making this transition at age 65 was the concern, “Am I too old to start something new?” I knew logically that I wasn’t, but the pervasive media message suggesting that people should retire at 65 was hard to ignore. This ageism is something you encounter daily, even if you don’t subscribe to it yourself. I also wondered if people would take me seriously, especially in the film industry. Another major doubt was whether I could actually succeed in this new field—what if I failed?

Fortunately, you didn’t fail. What sparked the change within you to keep pursuing it?

At 65, after a long and fulfilling corporate career, I realized that I had more years behind me than ahead. Sitting at my desk, I asked myself why I was still in that role. I loved my job, was good at it, travelled extensively, and worked with wonderful people. However, it had become so routine that I could do it in my sleep. This made me question why I should stay and if it might be time to pass the torch to someone younger.

I began making lists of things I hadn’t yet tried in life. One idea was to learn the saxophone and join a band, but the prospect of learning to read music and mastering the instrument seemed daunting and time-consuming. Writing a book or starting a podcast also crossed my mind, but filmmaking stood out as a lifelong fantasy.

Since childhood, I’ve been a film buff, captivated by the stories and the emotions they evoke. This passion for film, rooted in my experiences of attending Saturday matinees for 25 cents, inspired me to pursue it seriously. Unlike film school, which would take too long, diving into filmmaking directly seemed like the right choice. So, I decided to embrace the challenge and follow my dream.

How did you learn to become a filmmaker? It doesn’t seem easy to jump into such a field.

Transitioning to filmmaking was like managing any project at work. I approached it by asking, “What do I want to build?” In this case, it was a film. I then identified what I needed to achieve that goal and who I needed to collaborate with. This strategy was something I used daily in my corporate career, always bringing in experts to help make things happen.

I knew I needed to find people experienced in filmmaking, so I connected with a local production company that loved my idea and became my partner. They had the expertise in cameras, lighting, sound, and all the technical aspects of making a film. Over the next three years, we worked together to bring my first film, Beyond 60, to life. It was a fascinating and rewarding experience.

Whenever you venture into something new, always start by finding experts, learning from them, working with them, and creating something together. I was fortunate to find a group of talented, mostly young men, who were enthusiastic about collaborating with an older woman on a film about older women. Their support and enthusiasm were crucial to the project’s success.

I guess it took time to rebuild your network when making such a significant life change.

Yes, it took time. This is often what stops people from pursuing something new. They wonder, “Who would I call?” If they can set aside that fear and instead think, “What kind of people do this, and how can I get introduced to them?” it becomes much simpler. That’s exactly what I did.

It’s all about taking logical steps to reach your goal. You don’t have to commit immediately; you might discover after a meeting that it’s not for you and move on to the next thing. The key is overcoming the fear of asking for help and figuring out what you need. Many people fear feeling embarrassed or being judged by stereotypes, but taking that first step is crucial.

Talking about Beyond Sixty, your first documentary about women over the age of 60 who have lived remarkable lives, can you share a particular story that has resonated with you deeply?

I love all nine women featured in the film, but Paula Yankowskis‘s story always stands out to me. Now in her 70s, she is a veterinarian in Vermont. In her early days as a vet, she faced discrimination when a farmer refused to let her treat a dying cow simply because she was a woman. Paula calmly asked, “So you’re just going to let the cow die?” The farmer replied, “I’d rather have that happen than let you touch her.”

Paula shares this story in a very endearing way, but there’s more to her than being a pioneering veterinarian. Paula is also a long-distance swimmer. She regularly swims the 11 miles of Lake Champlain and was once training someone for the English Channel when it was suggested she could swim it herself. Despite her husband’s doubts, she trained and became the oldest U.S. woman to complete the swim.

Her humility is striking. When I asked her to be in the film, she wondered if people would be interested in her story. I assured her, “Paula, you swam the English Channel in your 60s!” Paula’s story inspires others to overcome their own barriers, not necessarily to swim the English Channel, but to take steps toward achieving their own goals.

What’s your personal vision of ageing and how do you challenge ageist assumptions, if any, in your profession?

Ageism is a pervasive issue, but I was fortunate that my company valued employees over 60, with many working into their 70s. I left at 65 by choice, not pressure. Despite this, I encountered ageism nationwide but didn’t let it affect me. I was vocal about my capabilities and confronted ageist or sexist remarks directly, asserting my value and preventing ageism from holding me back.

At 74, I still don’t feel constrained by ageist attitudes. While we’re bombarded with ageist messages daily, it’s crucial to maintain a strong mindset. As we age, especially as women, we often become somewhat invisible, but this should not diminish our visibility or value.

My vision of ageing involves actively pushing against these stereotypes and asserting our worth. Actually, the invisibility factor can be positive, allowing us to work behind the scenes and make an impact quietly and effectively.

Your latest project, Climbing Into Life, which explores the life of 72-year-old Deirdre Wolownick, is a testament to that. It’s been gaining traction and visibility at numerous festivals. Can you give us a glimpse into it?

Yes, Climbing Into Life has been accepted into seven festivals so far, and I’m awaiting responses from several others. This reminds me of my experience with Beyond 60, again focusing on an older woman’s story.

Despite my confidence, I still fear it won’t attract a wide audience. However, getting into these festivals has been reassuring, affirming that people are interested in these stories. This acceptance makes me optimistic about diverse narratives.

Deirdre Wolownick is extraordinary. If you’ve seen the Academy Award-winning documentary Free Solo, you’ll know her son, Alex Honnold. Despite assuming she’s been climbing all her life, she didn’t start until her 60s. She was an academic, artist, musician, and writer, speaking eight languages, but never an athlete.

In her late 50s, after her marriage ended, Deirdre sought new fulfilment, inspired by her children —one a long-distance cyclist, the other the renowned climber Alex Honnold. She began running marathons, inspired by her daughter, despite never having run before. Eventually, she asked Alex to take her climbing. He agreed but insisted she learn the basics first. She got hooked, and Alex later took her up El Capitan with ropes. Watching her climb was incredible, especially considering she’s not a lifelong athlete.

In the end, it’s really all about our mindset. Isn’t it?

Absolutely. It’s all about having the right mindset to achieve our goals, which defines our lives. Everything we do is influenced by our mindset. We often stop ourselves from making improvements and changing directions, especially as women. We’re told we’re too old or limited by gendered ageism.

Often, we derail our own paths because of fears like, “I can’t do that,” or “I’ve never done that before,” or even listening to others who say, “What are you doing that for? You don’t know what you’re doing.”

If you listen to those voices, you’ll hesitate to move forward. As we age achieving our goals can take more time, but this is not because we lack the will, but because we have so many responsibilities and need to ensure we take care of ourselves along the way. Balancing these demands with the pursuit of our passions is the real challenge.

Are there any other particular genres or themes you’re excited to explore in the future?

I’m really passionate about continuing to tell the stories of older women, as there aren’t enough voices doing that. However, I’m also exploring creative ways to present these narratives. For instance, I’m considering producing short clips about older women centred around specific subjects, possibly for platforms like YouTube.

Another idea is creating a series of pictures and stories focused on women’s hands and the work they do. This could include women mechanics, midwives, and others who use their hands in various professions. These are a few concepts I’m currently exploring.

You’ve dedicated the second chapter of your life to sharing the stories of remarkable women. How has this process impacted your own life and perspective?

Through this process, I discovered that I still had the abilities and capabilities to achieve more, but it also solidified that belief within me. In my first film, Beyond Sixty, I interviewed nine incredible women from across the country, all over the age of 60, with some well into their 70s and 80s.

Their stories highlighted their strength and resilience, showing that sharing these experiences can deeply impact listeners. It encourages them to reflect on their own lives and aspirations, demonstrating that fear is something you can overcome.

I often heard doubts like, “You’re not a filmmaker, you didn’t go to film school, how could you possibly make a film?” But it reminded me of when I started my previous job without any experience. None of us are experts when we start something new; we learn as we go. With enough passion and desire, you’ll find the people who will help you succeed.

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Beyond Sixty can be found on streaming platforms: AppleTV, PrimeVideo, Vimeo, Vudu, Google, Tubi and OnDemand through cable services.  

Climbing into Life is currently in the following festivals:

-Sacramento, CA International Film Festival-August 18

-Los Angeles, Broadway International Film Fest-August 24 (LA)

-Los Angeles, Lift Off - August 1-30

-Downtown Statesville, Full Bloom Film Fest-September 6

-Phoenixville, Phoenixville Film Fest- September 19 

-Billings, Montana International Film Fest- September 19