Embracing Uncertainty As You Age: The Spiritual Gift Of Not Knowing

I still regret turning down that invitation from a friend to go zip-lining. I could have spent the entire day gliding over the rainforest in Costa Rica, but I just couldn’t get past all the “what-if?”

What if I fall and break something? What if I’m not strong enough and slow down the whole group? What if I just get stuck hanging in midair over the rainforest and it starts raining? Or what if I fall and land in a pile of stinging yellow crazy ants?

From chaos to comical, I conjured up every possible scenario to lead me to say, “No thanks.”

Looking back, I see now that saying “no” was really a refusal to embrace the uncertainty that, paradoxically, might have been the day’s greatest gift. What I’ve realized is that life is inherently unpredictable and how we roll with this unpredictability can mean the difference between stagnation and growth, sameness or serendipity, worry or wonder.

What does embracing uncertainty mean?

We’re living through volatile geopolitical tensions, a world still healing from a pandemic, fears about our planet’s decline, job losses, economic stagnation (plus menopause, which can make everything feel even less stable). There are countless reasons to feel overwhelmed, especially as we age. We might feel more fragile, more uncertain, and unsure of what the future holds, yet these moments also invite us to discover resilience and new possibilities. While we can’t control every outcome, we can still hold onto hope and meet the unknown with curiosity rather than fear. Uncertainty isn’t a threat; it’s a doorway to experience, growth, and learning.

Think of my 18-month-old grandson Parker. When he tries new foods, puts rocks in his mouth, or explores the dog’s playful bite, he doesn’t panic. To him, the unknown is adventure; every moment is an opportunity to learn.

If life has somehow stopped you from daring, now is the time to rediscover the excitement of midlife adventures.

Of course, there are benefits to certainty. In this phase of midlife, who wants to disrupt a life that is dependable and consistent? Who doesn’t like to have their weekly meal planned and gym dates in place? All calories and casual encounters accounted for and documented. Checking the boxes of our daily life gives temporary relief from anxiety and discomfort and leaves us feeling more in control. We eliminate the risks of the unknown. We know how big our playground is, who’s playing in it, and where the fences are.

However, the cost of claiming and preferring a life of certainty can be increased anxiety and stress in the long term. Our worlds can become smaller, even leading to isolation and loneliness, limiting our new experiences (like me declining that zip-lining adventure).

The worst impact of demanding certainty in our lives? It’s that we limit our adaptability and openness to new opportunities.

Why embrace uncertainty?

Journalist Maggie Jackson, in a recent interview about her book, ‘Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure‘, describes the many benefits of allowing ourselves to live with uncertainty. One in particular: uncertainty might be a “good stress.”

“When we meet something new, ambiguous, or unexpected, we have a stress response, both physiological and neural, that allows the brain to be more receptive to new data. Our attention broadens and our working memory improves. It’s a kind of wakefulness that’s really important, giving us the opportunity to learn. Who doesn’t want to be more awake, more engaged and open to learning?”

Jackson also suggests we should see uncertainty as a gift, an invitation to learn more about another person, place, or thing. If we find ourselves only in the presence of people with whom we agree, we miss an opportunity to broaden our view or at least sharpen our own opinion.

Maybe you’ll find yourself on uncommon ground with your co-worker but you’ll build a bridge rather than a wall. I can guarantee that through dialogue you’ll find something you agree on. At first it might be a favorite new tv show but it could lead to a new office project that you’re both passionate about. It’s dialogue with people who we assume are too different than us that brings mutual respect and understanding.

“Knowledge strengthened by uncertainty is the heart of superior performance under fire – she says- and the key to creating a new standard of expertise-questioning —open, adaptive—, for volatile time. Uncertainty is wisdom in motion.”

At the same time, embracing uncertainty can energize the spirit. Letting go of control creates space for what I call “spiritual electricity,” a sense of vitality and inspiration that arises when we release fear, doubt, and rigid expectations, allowing life to flow through us in meaningful ways, whether in art, relationships, or simply living authentically.

How to embrace uncertainty

Once, author and Professor of mathematics John Allen Paulos said: “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” I would encourage you to take it in it’s stride.

Here’s a challenge for you: wake up tomorrow and give yourself permission to step into a day of pure curiosity, a day where you don’t have all the answers. Let go of the need to control every outcome, and instead, invite the unexpected to guide you. Breathe in wonder and breathe out worry: practice mindfulness to stay present, build resilience through small, controlled risks, shift self-talk to “I can handle not knowing,” and focus on your core values and adaptability rather than controlling outcomes.

Approach the day like you’re standing on the edge of a zipline platform: your heart racing, your hands gripping the harness, but fully trusting that you are supported, that a higher power, or simply the flow of life, is holding you. Leap into the unknown with excitement, knowing that every twist, turn, and surprise carries its own lesson and beauty.

Tomorrow, give yourself this gift: a day of not knowing, a day of wonder, a day to simply be, and watch how your world shifts when you let life surprise you.

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