Does Sexiness Expire? Nonsense, You’ll Still Got It

At what age, exactly, does a woman stop being sexy? 40? 50? 70? Does desirability have an expiry date, like a carton of milk? Society seems eager to tell us so, but actually sexiness is not about age; it thrives in the way we own our space, how we carry our experiences, and the way we redefine beauty on our own terms.

I see women, young and old, fretting over laugh lines, softening skin, and grey hairs, as if these things erase their allure. Even I, someone who should know better, have stood in front of the mirror wondering if a magic serum could turn back the clock. But to what end? To impress men? Other women? Ourselves?

Here’s the irony: the things we lament now—our lived-in bodies, our seasoned faces—will one day be the very things we look back on with nostalgia.

Still Got It: Why Age Doesn’t Define Sexy

We talk a lot about ageing gracefully, but what about ageing playfully and powerfully? With a sense of self that comes from years of learning what we love, what we want, and what we refuse to tolerate, ageing sexy becomes so effortless, so unapologetic, and so deeply magnetic.

As an Italian, I can tell you that embracing the three F’s—Fashion, Food, and Fun—is the key to a passionate life, and that passion is irresistibly attractive.

Science backs this up. A study on adults over 50 found that 78% of participants felt younger than their actual age, suggesting that youthfulness is a subjective experience not solely tied to physical appearance. This implies that desire may be influenced by factors beyond visible youth. Additionally, research indicates that older chronological age is associated with feeling younger, with participants who felt younger reporting a subjective age nearly nine years below their actual age.

But let’s not dismiss physical attraction itself—because it, too, evolves. Studies show that attraction isn’t just about symmetrical features and taut skin. It’s about the way a person moves, their energy, and even their body language. In fact, research from the University of Texas found that confidence and expressiveness play a more significant role in perceived attractiveness than youth itself. Think of the women we admire most—Helen Mirren, Angela Bassett, Isabella Rossellini, Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu,—they exude an undeniable magnetism, not in spite of their age but because they’ve grown into themselves.

And desire itself shifts. In our twenties, attraction may be heavily driven by physical appearance, novelty, and impulse. But as we age, research suggests that emotional connection, shared experiences, and intellectual intimacy become stronger drivers of desire. Another study found that for adults over 50, sexual satisfaction increased with age—not because of physical perfection, but because of a deeper understanding of their own desires and greater emotional and physical confidence. In other words, we not only remain desirable, but we desire in a way that is richer, more complex, and often more fulfilling.

So let’s abandon the idea that sexiness has a cut-off point. Let’s embrace the knowledge that our attractiveness isn’t just about smooth skin and tight bodies, but about depth, intelligence, charisma, and self-assurance. And most of all, let’s remind each other that we’re beautiful now—so we don’t have to wait until we’re 90 to realise it.

Remember: we’ve always had it. And as the old woman said to Barbie (the movie), “I know, I’m beautiful.”

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