Can Sex Still Be Good in Your 60s? Exploring Intimacy in Later Life

4 min read

As we age, the narrative around sex often shifts, leading many to wonder: can sex in your 60s still be fulfilling and enjoyable? The short answer is a resounding yes.

Recent statistics reveal that many older adults are not only maintaining their sexual activity but are also experiencing heightened intimacy and satisfaction.

However, we can’t deny a few tricks sometimes are necessary if we still want to be happy under the bed sheets. By adapting to new possibilities and exploring ways to enhance our libido, our 60s can be a surprisingly passionate chapter. 

New Insights on Sex and Ageing

According to the National Poll on Healthy Aging, 40% of people between the ages of 65 and 80 are sexually active. Of these folks, 73% say they are satisfied with their sex lives. 

A survey by AARP (2023) confirms it. People over 40  and older revealed to remain sexually active, with 30% reporting weekly sexual activity and 27% monthly or less. Notably, even 16% of adults over 70 continue to engage in weekly sexual activities.

Satisfaction varies, with 46% of respondents expressing contentment with their sex lives, though nearly half also felt they weren’t having enough sex, particularly among men. Additionally, most older adults find intimacy emotionally satisfying, with about 80% of participants reporting pleasurable physical and emotional experiences with partners.

Also, according to a longitudinal ageing study “Enjoyment of Sexuality and Longevity in Late Midlife and Older Adults“, for mature people sexuality becomes more complex and may emphasize forms of intimacy such as kissing, touching, and mutual responsiveness rather than focusing primarily on sexual intercourse.

So why do you and your partner suddenly feel stuck in a libido rut? 

The Reality of Ageing and Sex in Your 60s

In their 60s, both men and women can face unique changes and challenges that can impact their sex life.

For women, menopause often brings about hormonal changes that can lead to vaginal dryness and a decrease in libido. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine experts, more than a third of women in menopause report having sexual difficulties, from lack of interest in sex to trouble having an orgasm. The main culprit is declining levels of estrogen, which can reduce a person’s desire to have sex and make sexual arousal more difficult.

Similarly, men may experience erectile dysfunction or reduced testosterone levels, affecting their sexual performance.

The book “Why Men Stop Having Sex” by Bob Berkowitz and Susan Yager-Berkowitz presents several key findings from a comprehensive survey conducted with over 4,000 participants. Notable insights are often linked to emotional factors such as feeling disconnected from their partners or experiencing unresolved conflicts, including boredom with their sexual routines.

But still, the complex interplay of emotional, psychological, and relational factors that contribute to the phenomenon of sexless relationships doesn’t have to spell the end of your sex life. Libido changes, but it doesn’t disappear. 

Modernizing Your Sex Life In Your 60s

Of course, the same sexual routine can be a killer. While dating a new partner in your 60s can be exciting, being married to the same one for over 30 years may mean that life under the sheets can be boring sometimes (did you know that about 20% of marriages are sexless?)

To modernize your sex life in your 60s, sexual therapists often recommend first engaging in candid conversations with your partner about desires and needs to foster intimacy and strengthen your emotional bond and then focusing on sensory experiences, using all five senses to shift from a performance-driven to a pleasure-focused mindset.

This approach can help reduce pressure and allow for greater enjoyment.

Of course, exploring new activities (in and out of the bedroom) can also bring fresh excitement and intimacy to your sexual experiences. Holding hands, cuddling, or even dancing with your partner can release oxytocin, the “love hormone,” and gradually stoke your desire.

Small changes, like a new setting, adding playful elements, or even discovering new positions can revitalize intimacy, too. If certain movements are uncomfortable, exploring alternatives that prioritize ease and closeness might be helpful.

When in the mood, sexual aids like vibrators or lubricants can even address common issues such as vaginal dryness (this ensures that intimacy is enjoyable and pleasurable for both partners).

1. stop comparing your partner to past relationships
2. prioritize making new, positive memories together
3. approach each other’s bodies with curiosity to discover and communicate what feels pleasurable
4. embrace playfulness to relieve pressure
5. schedule time for intimacy, reserving at least an hour weekly to reconnect.

Create the Mental and Emotional Space for Desire to Thrive

To reignite desire, however, it is crucial to look after your well-being, too. A healthy body and an optimistic outlook on life and ageing support a fulfilling sex life. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep improve energy levels and also promote a positive body image, which is crucial for feeling confident in your own skin.

Practices such as yoga or meditation can improve body awareness and certain herbs like ginseng or maca root may also help boost libido, but remember that intimacy is not solely physical: if you and your partner are under constant stress, it can significantly dampen your libido.

Sexual desire thrives when there’s mental and emotional space for it to grow, regardless of age. When life gets packed with unresolved resentments, lingering regrets, or an overwhelming schedule, these mental burdens can work against creating a relaxed, intimate connection. To keep passion alive, it’s essential to make room for it, letting go of everyday stresses that might otherwise interfere with enjoying time together in the bedroom.

Remember, a good sex life is less about age and more about curiosity and openness. Staying receptive to new experiences can open doors to a deep, rewarding sense of intimacy that only grows with time.

Are you investing enough time with your partner to strengthen your emotional connection through meaningful shared experiences?

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