Are Intergenerational Relationships the Key to Fighting Ageism?

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Age is just a number.” But what if that number could also be a bridge? A bridge between life stages, between people who see the world differently, and between generations that have more in common than they think. We’ve asked Sara J. Margolin, Ph.D., Associate Professor at SUNY Brockport in New York, to share her insights on how intergenerational connections can reduce ageism, foster empathy, and help us all age better.

As we get older, society often sends us subtle (and not so subtle) messages that aging means stepping aside. But actually, age doesn’t diminish our relevance. In fact, it can expand it. And one of the most powerful ways to challenge ageism and rediscover the joy of being part of a vibrant, connected world is through intergenerational relationships.

According to Sara J. Margolin, Ph.D., Associate Professor and Director of the MA in Psychology Program at the Department of Psychology, Philosophy, and Neuroscience at SUNY Brockport in New York,  “Intergenerational relationships, those that connect people who are older and younger, can combat ageism, allow for psychosocial development for both individuals, and contribute to progression of human connection overall.”

How Intergenerational Connections Challenge Stereotypes and Build Empathy

When we think about ageism, we often picture the stereotypes: older adults as forgetful, fragile, or out of touch. But intergenerational relationships dismantle those assumptions in the most natural way—through genuine connection.

Research shows that these relationships can reduce feelings of loneliness, they also help maintain personal identity, build coping skills, and foster a sense of generativity—the deep, developmental drive to “give back” to the next generation.

“Generativity is where the older generation works to ‘give back’ to the generation coming up behind them through leadership, mentorship, friendship,” explains Margolin. “It’s an important developmental milestone for older adults to reach.”

That sense of purpose, of sharing lessons learned and supporting those still figuring life out, can be transformative: it keeps both younger and older people grounded in something larger than themselves.

An Inspiring Model from the Netherlands

Not sure how that could happen? One powerful example of how intergenerational connection can reshape both perception and experience comes from a creative program in the Netherlands. There, a nursing home began offering university students free housing in exchange for spending at least 30 hours each month with older residents.

The results were heartwarming. “The connections made here were helpful in young adults understanding the reality of aging, albeit restricted to those in the care home, and realigning their beliefs about what it means to grow older,” says Margolin. “They learned the true value that older adults have in community. And the older adults reported being thrilled with what the young adults could ‘bring from the outside.”

Those relationships changed lives on both sides. The students gained a richer, more realistic view of aging—not as a loss, but as a stage filled with meaning, humor, and insight. And the older adults felt invigorated by the energy, curiosity, and optimism of youth.

Seeing People, Not Stereotypes: Ageism Awareness in Action

The magic of intergenerational connection is that it reveals what’s always been true but too often hidden: there’s no single way to age.

“These kinds of connections are important because when we see the people, not the stereotype, we realize that the aging experience is highly variable—from people in care homes to people walking the red carpet, and everything in between,” Margolin says. “There is no one way to age and no stereotype to obey, and the more we learn about the generations ahead of us, the more we will come to understand that there are so many wonderful things to look forward to.”

It’s easy to forget that every generation has its own challenges, triumphs, and dreams. But when we sit down and share stories, really listen to each other, we begin to see the continuum of human experience. Aging isn’t an ending; it’s a conversation that keeps evolving.

Practical Ways to Strengthen Bonds and Fight Ageism in Your Community

You don’t need to move to another country to experience the benefits of intergenerational connection. Here are a few ways to bring that spirit into your everyday life:

• Start close to home. Invite your children, grandchildren, or neighbors’ kids to help with a project, cook a family recipe, or share a story from your early adulthood.
• Volunteer with purpose. Many community organizations, schools, and nonprofits offer mentorship programs that connect experienced adults with younger people who can benefit from guidance—and laughter.
• Join an intergenerational group. From book clubs to tech-help programs, more libraries and senior centers are creating spaces where people of different ages can learn from one another.
• Bridge the digital gap. Younger people can help older adults navigate new technologies, while older adults can offer context and life lessons younger generations might not find on YouTube.
• Be curious. Ask questions about each other’s lives, values, and experiences. Curiosity is the foundation of connection.

Building Bridges Through Everyday Intergenerational Connections

For women in midlife and beyond, cultivating intergenerational relationships can be especially rewarding. These connections affirm that we are not defined by the years behind us but by the relationships we continue to build.

They remind us that our stories matter—not as nostalgia, but as wisdom. They show younger generations what it looks like to live with strength, humor, and grace. And they offer us fresh perspective, energy, and hope from those still carving their paths.

As Dr. Margolin puts it, “When we see the people, not the stereotype, we realize that there are so many wonderful things to look forward to.”

So, the next time you have a chance to talk with someone decades older, or younger, than you, take it. Ask, listen, laugh, and share. Because those conversations have the power of reshaping the way we all understand what it means to age well.

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